how to successfully fail

Do you ever get the feeling like suddenly, as fate would have it, the stars are aligning just for you and all of your biggest hopes and dreams are about to come true? Me neither. But when you’re pretty sure that your goals are within reach if you can juuuuuust streeeeeetch yourself out a little further, you'll be able to grab those suckers. Or at least that's what I tell my kids - stay positive, do the work and you'll earn the reward. Oh yes, I just mommied the shit out of y’all and you didn't even see me coming, I bet.

Looking on the bright side is a butterflies and rainbows way to live life - for sure - it’s just that sometimes it's so effing annoying. Pardon my French, but really. Did you see the movie, Trolls?  You can watch the trailer here. It’s such a great little movie and I absolutely adore "Poppy" the peppy little pink one-but sometimes I want to punch her in the face since I feel more like "Branch" the depressed little grey one. And that's ok too. Sometimes… sometimes, a girl just needs to give herself a day to wallow and weep or whatever the eff you need to do to suck it up and move on. This just means getting it out and getting it out is excellent company for letting that shit go.

successfully failing

So very recently, I trolled my town with little packages and Christmas cards in an effort to make sales. Indeed, I peddled my art. *facepalm* The craft show schedules didn't quite jive with my own and I wasn’t about to ask any of my pals to kindly reschedule their weddings so I could sell my junk to unsuspecting Christmas Shoppers. Although, I probably would have felt like a lot less of an asshole doing that then what I actually did. Unfortunately, my great crusade didn't really work despite the fact that I did work - really friggin hard. The project was not a total loss, though. If I’m “Poppy” I’m saying that I did make a few sales, my website got many, more hits than usual and I learned SO much about myself and my market in the process. If I’m “Branch” I’m going to tell you that I put significantly more into the project than it returned to me (time and money…tears, perhaps) and my ego is slightly bruised. 

So this is what I did about it:

  • I gave myself a day (or two) to lick my wounds. There is really nothing wrong with allowing yourself to be upset about whatever it is that you are upset about. It’s ok to get down but you haven’t truly failed unless you don’t get back up. It sounds like such a typical thing to say but just because your plan didn’t work doesn’t mean that none of your plans will work ever. Don’t give up, try again.
don't give up


  • I thought of something that sucked less than having been someone that others literally put signs on their doors to avoid. (Solicitors - not me specifically, although that shit would be hilarious) Thinking happy thoughts might actually help you gain a little bit of perspective on the situation. Stay positive and keep trying.
you can do this


  • Made some newer and hopefully better goals. Use that shit. Honestly. Take it as a hard lesson or tough love or whatever you want to call it. Turn your failures into lessons and suddenly you haven't failed AT ALL. So take what you’ve learned and give it another try.
look on the bright side


That’s it!

Having the ability to see the light at the end of every tunnel is a wonderful gift to have but when you pour your heart into something only to watch the entire thing seize and die - you have earned the right to feel shitty about it. Sometimes you just have to give in to the darkness! Be sad, get mad, feel sorry for yourself for like, a day (or two) by all means. But no matter what - absolutely, positively, no matter what - do NOT give up. Get out of your own way and look on the bright side. Chin up, buttercup - make a new plan and get back to work. You can totally do this - as soon as you're done sulking, that is.

Tenille Bohay